Gym Math: Where 45 + 45 Somehow Equals Confusion, Sweat, and 17 Tiny Plates.
Ah, gym math—the only place where you can have two university degrees, run a business, manage a household, and still stand in front of a barbell muttering, “Wait… how much is this again?” Ladies- we’ve all done this.
Let’s talk about a common affliction that haunts lifters worldwide: Weight Plate Chaos Disorder (WPCD). Symptoms include squinting at the barbell, second-guessing basic arithmetic, and aggressively defending your right to put five 2.5kg plates on each side instead of just slapping on a 10kg. Some of you dont include the barbell weight, some of you only include the weight on one side. Sounds even more complicated.
The Barbell Breakdown
It starts innocently. You’re hyped up, pre-workout buzzing, music blasting. You strut over to the rack, slap on a couple of 10s, then pause. “That’s 10… plus the bar… which is 15… no wait, 10? 20? Is this a short bar or an Olympic bar? Is this math class?!” Cue panic.
Eventually, Coach walks by and confirms, “That’s 60kg.” You nod. You knew that. Of course you did. You were just... testing them.
The Small Plate Lifestyle
But here’s where it really goes off the rails: you need 10 more kilos. Do you grab a single 5kg plate for each side? Of course not. That would be too easy, too clean. No, no. You reach for:
Two 2.5s
One 1.25
Two 0.5s you found in the corner that may or may not be decorative
And the red clips because those weigh .25 more than the others.
The bar now looks like a stack of Oreo fillings—if the Oreos were made of anxiety and questionable decisions.
Why do we do this? Why do we willingly make our lives harder by building a barbell that looks like a metallic totem pole?
“Because somewhere deep in our brains, a voice whispers: “It’s the same weight, but it feels heavier if it looks messier.”
Science hasn’t caught up yet, but gym folklore swears that a plate salad bar is 10% more anabolic.
Other Gym Math Scenarios That Break Your Brain
“I’ll just go up 5kg total”: You add 2.5kg per side, obviously making it a 5kg increase on each side—doubling your intended jump and blowing out your spine mid-set.
Supersets with different barbells: One is in pounds. One is in kilos. Your soul leaves your body trying to convert 135lb to 60kg mid-push press.
Asking someone how much they lifted: “It was 100… plus the bar… and a 5, no wait, two 1.25s… so like… 112.5? Maybe? I don’t know. It felt heavy.”
Solutions? Not Really.
You could label all the plates. You could download a weight calculator app. You could even—dare I say—just use two big plates instead of six small ones. But you won’t. You’ll be back at the rack, stacking 1.25s like you’re building a Lego fortress.
Because it’s not about logic.
It’s about vibes.
And nothing says “I lift” like taking 90 seconds to do math while your friends question your high school education.
Final Thought:
Want to make your life (and math) easier? Just grab the bigger plates. They’re faster to load, simpler to count, and you’ll spend less time squinting at the bar like it owes you money. Save the baby plates for the PRs—your future self will thank you.
